


Obligatory Dodgeball Fic

by thedwalingsabist



Series: Seniorverse [1]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:57:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3703575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedwalingsabist/pseuds/thedwalingsabist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Babe, you’re cute, but you run like my grandma.” Kevin sighed, scratching under his baseball cap as Edd finally made it around the quarter-mile track. Double D was stressing because his would-be-perfect GPA was getting dragged down by his gym grade, so Kevin offered to help him improve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obligatory Dodgeball Fic

“Babe, you’re cute, but you run like my grandma.” Kevin sighed, scratching under his baseball cap as Edd finally made it around the quarter-mile track. Double D was stressing because his would-be-perfect GPA was getting dragged down by his gym grade, so Kevin offered to help him improve. It meant an extra hour spent at school every day after baseball practice, but if it made his boyfriend tremble a little less and his voice not as shrill, it was worth it. “Get your shoulders down from around your ears, seriously.”

Edd practically collapsed as he completed his second lap of the day, laying on his stomach and feeling the rubberized track under his cheek. “I told you this was futile, Kevin.” He wheezed weakly. “Eddy and Ed already tried this a number of times, all of which have resulted in injury and humiliation.”

“Yeah, well, they weren’t doing it right. I’m not going to make you wrestle a Kanker or anything, ok?” He looked down at the socked head. “While you’re down there, see if you can give me a push-up.”

“Kevin,” Double D croaked as he shakily got his hands flat to the ground under his shoulders, “I must request…” he paused as he attempted to push himself off the ground, managing to raise his chest a few inches, before his biceps wobbled dangerously and he couldn’t hold himself any more, face planting into the ground. “Ouch!” he rolled onto his back and sat up, bringing up his hands to clutch his nose. “Nosebleed!” He screeched like it was the end of the world, and Kevin took a moment to run his hands over his face in frustration before crouching next to Edd, pinching the bleeding nose and tilting his chin down.

“You’re okay, babe.” He soothed, softening to marshmallow consistency at the tearful blue eyes staring up at him. “Look, it was really little, it’s already stopping.” He pulled his shirt off and wiped most of the blood away, noticing that his lip had been split by his tooth. He gently dabbed at that as well.

“That’s unsanitary, Kevin.” Edd said in a muted voice, coaxing the shirt from his hands. “Blood stains and can carry diseases. I’ll pre-treat this and wash it for you tonight.”

Kevin moved his hand to cup Edd’s cheek, sighing fondly. “Dork, I don’t care about a stupid shirt. I got it for free at a fun run. Come on, we’re done. Let’s get you in the showers.” He helped Double D up and led him off the field to the locker room, where he watched the scrawny boy assemble his shower tote. The third time Edd dropped a bottle, Kevin rolled his eyes and picked it up for him. “Okay, you’re being extra twitchy. Tell me what’s up.” He started the water for him, standing to the side and watching his boyfriend remove his clothes and put on his shower flip-flops. Edd naked was still quite the sight, even when he took off his hat so his sweaty hair fell in clumps around his face (Kevin was going to burn that thing someday and laugh), and it was only because he’d been getting some regularly for a good nine months that he didn’t give in to the urge to jump his skinny, pale bones.

Edd sighed as he stepped beneath the stream of hot water, immediately pouring shampoo into his hands and lathering his hair. “Even though I anticipated today’s session going poorly, I still held out hope that it would be slightly more productive than the last four.” His voice was barely audible over the shower. “Tomorrow we start the dodgeball unit, and I’m well aware that I’m seen as an easy target, not to mention that my ineptitude will be even more glaringly obvious to the teacher as I’m repeatedly hit and taunted.”

Kevin watched him, a frown on his face as his boyfriend rinsed his hair and worked in conditioner. “Are you serious? I thought this was just about your GPA, not you getting your ass whooped.”

“Don’t be crude, Kevin.” Edd chided lightly, glancing at him. “But yes. While my grade in the so-called class is my main priority, I’d prefer to end the day with as few bruises to my body and ego as possible.” He started with the loofah, scrubbing his skin red, and Kevin winced, wishing he’d be a little gentler with himself. Edd might be a wuss about pain, but sometimes he thought his boyfriend was going to scrub off some nerve endings.

“Try not to worry about it.” He said at length. Edd shut off the shower, and Kevin used the bath towel to wrangle him close, wrapping him up like a burrito and kissing his nose and lips. He took advantage of the lack of hat and sunk a hand into Edd’s dark, wet hair, slanting his mouth over the smaller boy’s until he felt the tension release from his muscles. He ended the kiss slowly, pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug. “Let’s go to my house. I’ll let you have all the jawbreakers you want.”

Edd made a contented noise, smiling softly against his shoulder. “Can I take some for Ed and Eddy?”

“Ugh, why you gotta ruin the moment by reminding me of them, you dweeb.”

xxx

The next day, Edd changed in one of the ‘shy-guy’ stalls before stepping out onto the gym floor, his shoulders hunched as though he was fending off hits already. He thought that it probably wouldn’t be as bad as he was imagining it to be, but then he saw the larger boys in the room whipping balls at the concrete wall and laughing as they ricocheted off with deafening smacks, and had to stifle a whimper as his knees knocked together. Those boys were football players, huge and scary and completely outside of Kevin’s sphere of influence ever since the redhead led the Peach Creek middle school football team to a crushing defeat by Lemon Brook. In fact, judging by the way they’d been treating Double D in the class for the past few months, the braniac could deduce that they either had a serious problem with Edd for some arbitrary reason, or were taking out an extreme dislike of Kevin on his person.

“Hey, sock head.” Eddy came up to stand beside him, staring at the jocks as well. Eddy may not have been as much of a target as Edd was, but as a short guy with a big mouth, he wasn’t exactly well liked. The same thought must have occurred to the shorter boy as well, because he stayed mostly quiet. Ed laughed and ran around the sidelines, throwing himself against the gym mats mounted on the walls for fun.

“Line up!” the coach blew his whistle, and named captains. Teams were picked, and Edd was left until last, sliding over to his team. He heard familiar trio of cackles, and looked over to the other side to see the Kankers, jeering and waggling their fingers at the Eds. Jimmy used to be in the class, until he got a note from his doctor stating that Jimmy had fragile bones. Edd was unspeakably jealous.

As it was, he lined up on one side of the gym, gravitating towards the back. Eddy and Ed were both on his team, thankfully, with Ed laughing blithely and Eddy strategizing to hide behind some of the better players. The whistle was blown again, and Edd cringed at the sound, pulling his hat over his ears as the red rubber balls started flying. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.” He said to himself, ducking balls and running around like one of Rolf’s chickens. “I don’t believe these balls are regulation!” Eddy was hit out, and Ed soon after, but Double D knew they’d be back shortly. The coach would replenish the players who had survived with the players who had been tagged, thereby keeping the game going indefinitely with no ‘winners’ or ‘losers’.

A crueler system could not be devised, in Edd’s opinion.

By sticking to the back, he had managed to survive the thinning out of his side as the other one pulled ahead, and the frantic feeling in his chest had a direct negative correlation to the number of players on his team. His eyes caught Lee’s, his stomach dropping to his feet. She smiled at him, her dead tooth gleaming with deadly promise, and the ball in her hands was suddenly a yard away from his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands extending in front of him to try and block the hit, when he heard the hollow ‘thwang’ of a ball being caught. Opening his eyes, he saw a very familiar red baseball cap, its owner twirling the captured sphere like a basketball.

Lee made a sound like an enraged buffalo as she was sent off the court, and Kevin turned to smirk at him. “Coach said I could spend my free period running around with you dorks.” He commented casually, tossing the ball to Double D lightly. Edd fumbled with it but managed to hang on, staring at Kevin like he was the messiah. _I am most certainly going to give him sex tonight,_ he thought fervently. _I will not make him shower before getting into my bed, and I will not require him to wear a prophylactic, even if it will be messy._

His thoughts were interrupted by another whistle blow, sending the tagged players back out onto the court. Edd suddenly felt as though many players on the other team, and even their own team, were glaring them – the Kanker sisters, a number of the football players, and a few of the weaker players who seemed to find it unfair that Edd had a protector while they did not. Eddy was one of those people. “Really, Double D? You had to get Jockstrap to come and fend for you?” Edd glared at his friend, and Kevin gave him a semi-disgusted look, opening his mouth to insult him back. No love was lost between that pair, despite them now having Edd as a common denominator.

But when the balls started flying again, that didn’t stop Eddy from attempting to supersede Edd’s hiding place behind Kevin. A scuffle between Eddy and the redhead was avoided when Ed ran by and grabbed Eddy’s arm, yelling that the ‘little ones should hide behind Ed because the children must be protected.’ “Ed, you lughead, we’re both seniors!” Eddy screamed at him, outraged, but Edd was soon distracted from his two best friends by Kevin.

Suffice it to say, Kevin was a dodgeball god. He caught balls easily, using them to deflect shots away from himself and Edd before shooting them at the opposing team, hitting someone more often than not. Edd thought that the best part was when every once in a while, Kevin would turn to give him a smile and toss him a ball. “Chuck it at ‘em, come on!” he encouraged, until Edd gave in and heaved the ball to the other side of the court, not hitting anyone, but not getting caught, either. Kevin would clap a hand on his shoulder proudly, and it was, dare he say it, fun.

Unfortunately, the Kankers seemed to take Kevin’s presence as a personal insult. As far as they were concerned, Edd had led Marie on for years, but even more unforgivably, he had destroyed their dream of a triple wedding between the Kanker sisters and the Ed clan. Edd glanced at the clock nervously as they converged towards the middle of the court, glaring at the pair so intensely that even Kevin looked nervous. There was only a few minutes left, maybe… but no. All three girls wound up with their balls, and like human slingshots, whipped it straight at the couple. Edd found it a true testament to Kevin’s bravery that he refused to utilize his faster reflexes to duck, instead taking the pummeling for Edd.

Kevin waved off his boyfriend’s fretful hands and gave him an apologetic look, glancing between the trembling boy and the Kankers. “Sorry, babe.” He grimaced. “When you see it coming, turn your back to it, okay? Don’t get that cute face all messed up.” With that, he left the court, and Edd looked frantically around for more allies. He saw none.

“Go get him, Marie!” Lee bellowed, and May jeered, “Yeah, take him out!” Edd watched with fearful acceptance as the blue-haired girl wound up, giving him a dingy-toothed smile. “Here you go, sweetie.” She teased menacingly before releasing the ball, and Edd was sure he saw it leave a fiery trail through the air. He followed Kevin’s advice and turned his back, hunching in on himself with his arms tucked in tight to his chest. Surprisingly, instead of pain, he felt the projectile whistle by his ear and slam against the back wall he was facing. The ball ricocheted off the cinderblock and, miracle of all miracles, neatly wedged itself between his forearms and chest. He froze in surprise, before turning slowly, showing the Kankers and the rest of the class.

There was a moment of silence, which was broken by the alarm that signaled the end of the game. Everything happened at once; Marie howled in rage, her sisters screaming about cheating. The weaklings of the court cheered, Eddy was yelping in surprise, Ed was running in circles again, and Kevin was yelling to everyone who would listen, “Did you freaking see that?! Did you freaking see him catch it?! That was freaking perfect, don’t try to tell me different!”

By the end of the day, it was widely accepted that Edd had charged the middle line, jumped in the air, caught the ball, and threw it back at the Kankers, where he had hit all three of them in one shot. His friends and Kevin approved of this version heavily, and spread it in their unique ways – Ed by trying to tell Sarah and Jimmy (and getting screamed at for his troubles), Eddy telling every girl he could find that as Double D’s best friend, he could get them front row seats at his next game (for only $5), and Kevin by slinging an arm around Edd’s shoulders and dragging him over to his athlete friends to retell the story in all of its exaggerated glory, with Edd blushing under their approving looks.

He didn’t care much about any of that, though. It was just a silly dodgeball game in gym class – repeated every day, nothing special at all. But when Kevin moved his arm down around his waist and encouraged Edd to look up at his beaming smile, he felt like he had scored a point for every dork in America.

Epilogue

Kevin lay on his back, staring dazedly at the ceiling as he clutched Edd to his heaving, sweaty chest. “Jesus Christ, babe.” He swallowed thickly and looked down at the pile of dark hair resting over his heart. “What the hell was that?”

Edd tilted his head up, blinking his heavy-lidded eyes slowly. “To what… are you referring?” he asked, also catching his breath.

“You…” he gulped. “You just…” He stared at the smaller boy, brushing red hair out of his eyes as he struggled to name just a single thing. “You didn’t make me use a condom, and... uh... holy crap?” It came out like a question, as though he thought that maybe the experience was a very realistic fantasy.

Edd blushed and shrugged. “Isn’t it customary to do something for your partner that you know they’ll enjoy?” He moved up the bed and rested his chin on Kevin’s collarbone.

“Yeah, I guess…” They cuddled in silence for a few more minutes, warm hands and skin and cooling sweat, until Kevin spoke up again. “Hey baby?”

Edd flushed again at the more intimate nickname. “Yes, Kevin?”

“…do you want us to go shower?”

“Oh my goodness, yes!” he bolted out of bed and into the bathroom, muttering about ‘thoroughly enjoyable but filthy filthy filthy!” Kevin lay in bed for a moment longer, putting a hand over his eyes and shaking his head, unable to stop the slow creep of a smile over his face. Edd was the weirdest, most surprising, dweebiest boyfriend to ever walk the face of the planet.

Goddamn, he was lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on my tumblr almost a year ago.
> 
> bythedeepblue.tumblr.com


End file.
